Day Six: A New Hospital
Submitted by kim on Sun, 02/23/2014 - 18:33 in Adoption, Nathaniel's Story
I had known since 8:30 that they were coming at 11 o'clock, but when they walked in the door dressed in blue and pushing an ambulance gurney, I stated to sob uncontrollably.
The resident standing next to me placed a comforting hand on my shoulder, "Mom is having a flashback," she explained to the transport crew. "Let's give her a few more minutes with the baby and take everything very slowly."
We were moving Nathaniel to a new hospital - a pediatric rehabilitation hospital.
Waves of guilt poured over the flashback of our first night - drowning me. "He doesn't belong in a hospital," pounded in my head repeatedly.
On Caring for Grandpa and Baby
Submitted by kim on Thu, 02/20/2014 - 22:02 in Adoption, Character Building, Homemaking
Grandpa visiting Nathaniel at the hospital in August, 2013
Day Three: A Plan for the Weekend
Submitted by kim on Thu, 02/20/2014 - 21:14 in Adoption, Nathaniel's Story
We had been at the hospital for forty-eight hours when a nurse stopped me in the hall. "Kim," he said, "Can I talk to you?" I was returning from the vending machine having taken a moment away from the crib side. One of my first moments away.
I immediately assumed the worse. "No, the baby is fine," he said. "I'm the charge nurse on the floor tonight and I wanted to share an idea with you."
Day One: Welcome Home
Submitted by kim on Tue, 02/18/2014 - 12:34 in Adoption, Nathaniel's Story
We welcomed Nathaniel home on July 31, 2013. In the chaos of putting away medical supplies and settling in with his private duty nurse, I forgot to take photos. I have a few of the brothers loving him on the couch. One of the new proud father.
Looking at the photos now, I remember being scared. He was here. I was mom. Everything I had learned during our three week transition from his foster family to our family had built up to this moment. Were we ready for our first night?
Loved Well
Submitted by kim on Thu, 02/13/2014 - 07:15 in Adoption, Nathaniel's Story
A mom steps timidly forward.
A protective older brother watches cautiously.
A baby looks for reassurance.
A mom stands courageously to the side.
And the photographer positions the moment I met my son in a larger story:
his foster family loved him well.
Meeting Nathaniel
Submitted by kim on Sat, 02/08/2014 - 07:02 in Adoption, Nathaniel's Story
We met Nathaniel on July 3, 2013.
On Being Chosen
Submitted by kim on Wed, 02/05/2014 - 20:39 in Adoption, Nathaniel's Story
The following was written the morning of July 3, 2013 - the day we met Nathaniel for the first time.
We are meeting Nathaniel today.
I am scared I won’t feel love towards him. And yet at the same time my heart beats so hard in anticipation of loving him that I think it might explode. I wake every morning wondering how he did through the night. I am scared that his medical stuff will scare me away. And yet at the same time every doctor’s note and diagnosis I read in his file gave peace rather than alarm.
Introducing...
Submitted by kim on Tue, 02/04/2014 - 09:48 in Adoption, Nathaniel's Story
Nathaniel Steven Rankin
The Empty Christmas Nest
Submitted by kim on Sat, 12/07/2013 - 20:14 in Adoption, Homemaking
Rich spotted it first. An empty bird's nest nestled in the branches. We paused. Admired. Took a photo. Considered the tree. But moved on, leaving the nest for whoever claimed the tree.
But the image stuck with me all month. It was Advent to me.
"A little empty bed waiting for a baby," was the comment I posted on the photo when I uploaded it to Facebook. I regretted leaving the nest. I wished I had brought it home to symbolize the coming of Jesus, the one who fills empty places in managers and hearts.
