Submitted by kim on Fri, 03/02/2012 - 09:19 in Marriage
Our marriage has been in a whirlwind since November when Rich started working out of town. He was gone four nights a week for eleven weeks. We had never dealt with this sort of arrangement, and it required purposeful adjustments.
Then suddenly, four weeks ago, Rich was home. A lot. He was laid off. We went from three months of not having enough time together to having too much. We've struggled through the last month, forgetting much of what we know about good communication. We've forgotten that we know we have to work on communicating. And just when we thought we had a handle on things last week, his company called and sent him out of town for seventy-two hours - over a weekend that was full of plans!
Another adaptation needed. But really, almost an overall, as there has been little consistency for months in how we go about daily life or find times to communicate amidst the chaos.
We went into this week with three goals:
- Avoid having purposeful conversation at times of transition.
- Meet to discuss the week, important issues, and make joint decisions on matters that have approaching deadlines.
- Set aside some time to just have fun together.
We met last Sunday to discuss the week and it went fair. Not great, but better than if we hadn't met. This afternoon is our opportunity for the fun. We are hoping the rain moves out, we can take a walk, and use a buy one get one free restaurant coupon. Our transition times, those five to thirty minute windows when we are home together but both preoccupied, have been reserved for simply checking in and expressing our love and concern for the other person. The plan has seemed to work. It's been a better week. Communication is something we will always have to work on in our marriage. Communicating steps to work on communication has been helpful this week to get back on track.